That photo about sums it up.
There are going to be some changes for me this spring. For one, in a few weeks I will only have one horse. Loretta is not getting better. She has been on ReguMate for almost a month and the vet said I should have noticed a difference if it was to help with her over-active ovaries. I feel that we have tried everything, with multiple vet visits, except the ulcer treatment. Why didn't I do the ulcer treatment? Honestly, the number one reason is that it would have cost me $984 for 30 days and I don't have $984 right now.
Second, I am not 100% sure she has ulcers, based on the somewhat inconclusive scope she received at the clinic. Her symptoms are so varied, so random (yet chronic) that it could be something else entirely (so why spend $984 on a treatment that might not work?)
So, Loretta will soon be returning to her previous owner, who was willing to take her back. Perhaps a change of environment will do the trick for her. Perhaps the lengthening daylight hours and her body will be able to cycle and get her feeling better in her reproductive areas. I don't know. But I know that I can hardly touch the mare right now and I can't do anything for her. I have been stressed out about this horse since last December. I can't look out my kitchen window in the morning without worrying about what she will be doing. I have felt helpless and unsure how to help her. I was to the point of considering having her put down.
My heart is broken. I can't think about letting her go without getting tears in my eyes. I fell in love with Loretta the minute I saw her and knew I wanted her. I don't just do that with any horse. I was so excited to have her as my up and coming trail horse. Her potential is amazing, which is why this is so much harder. If she was an older horse that had lived a great life, it wouldn't be so hard. But knowing that she is young and her life as a saddle horse was just beginning makes this so hard because once she is out of my hands, I ultimately have no say in her fate or where she ends up, even it it is the auction.
We don't know about her past, we don't know what kind of damage could be going on inside of her, the vet even hypothesized adhesions in her gut. I wish I was a millionaire. I wish I had the money to get more ultrasounds and scoping, and spend thousands on potential treatments. I love my pets like they are my children and do anything for them within my means. But I've always said that the line has to be drawn somewhere when it comes to finances. Some of you might not understand this and it is very hard for me to share it with you, but I need to.
Looking forward, I am going to shift my focus on My Boy this spring, and perhaps signing up to ride in a clinic, or perhaps even hosting one, too. I have plenty of project horses to work on at the ranch, including the colt (soon-to-be gelding) Howdy who will turn one this summer, and a few new horses that were purchased last year but not ridden much.
Other than that, I started a new teaching job that will keep me busy for about 30 hours a week when I am not at the ranch. I am also busy making my jewelry and while I am not going to retire rich on it I certainly love the creative outlet- I crave it and I love helping customers find something that makes them happy!
I am excited to start blogging more regularly, too. I am sorry to have been so distant I have just had a lot of things on my plate. I am ready for the renewal of spring, for a new beginning. I am excited about spring AND summer~ riding, spending time with family and friends, being outdoors round the clock, cooking, crafting..... just enjoying life to the fullest.
xo, Ranch Girl