Sunday, March 25, 2012

Spring Ahead & A Goodbye

That photo about sums it up.

There are going to be some changes for me this spring. For one, in a few weeks I will only have one horse. Loretta is not getting better. She has been on ReguMate for almost a month and the vet said I should have noticed a difference if it was to help with her over-active ovaries. I feel that we have tried everything, with multiple vet visits, except the ulcer treatment. Why didn't I do the ulcer treatment? Honestly, the number one reason is that it would have cost me $984 for 30 days and I don't have $984 right now.

Second, I am not 100% sure she has ulcers, based on the somewhat inconclusive scope she received at the clinic. Her symptoms are so varied, so random (yet chronic) that it could be something else entirely (so why spend $984 on a treatment that might not work?)

So, Loretta will soon be returning to her previous owner, who was willing to take her back. Perhaps a change of environment will do the trick for her. Perhaps the lengthening daylight hours and her body will be able to cycle and get her feeling better in her reproductive areas. I don't know. But I know that I can hardly touch the mare right now and I can't do anything for her. I have been stressed out about this horse since last December. I can't look out my kitchen window in the morning without worrying about what she will be doing. I have felt helpless and unsure how to help her. I was to the point of considering having her put down.

My heart is broken. I can't think about letting her go without getting tears in my eyes. I fell in love with Loretta the minute I saw her and knew I wanted her. I don't just do that with any horse. I was so excited to have her as my up and coming trail horse. Her potential is amazing, which is why this is so much harder. If she was an older horse that had lived a great life, it wouldn't be so hard. But knowing that she is young and her life as a saddle horse was just beginning makes this so hard because once she is out of my hands, I ultimately have no say in her fate or where she ends up, even it it is the auction.

We don't know about her past, we don't know what kind of damage could be going on inside of her, the vet even hypothesized adhesions in her gut. I wish I was a millionaire. I wish I had the money to get more ultrasounds and scoping, and spend thousands on potential treatments. I love my pets like they are my children and do anything for them within my means. But I've always said that the line has to be drawn somewhere when it comes to finances. Some of you might not understand this and it is very hard for me to share it with you, but I need to.

Looking forward, I am going to shift my focus on My Boy this spring, and perhaps signing up to ride in a clinic, or perhaps even hosting one, too. I have plenty of project horses to work on at the ranch, including the colt (soon-to-be gelding) Howdy who will turn one this summer, and a few new horses that were purchased last year but not ridden much.

Other than that, I started a new teaching job that will keep me busy for about 30 hours a week when I am not at the ranch. I am also busy making my jewelry and while I am not going to retire rich on it I certainly love the creative outlet- I crave it and I love helping customers find something that makes them happy!

I am excited to start blogging more regularly, too. I am sorry to have been so distant I have just had a lot of things on my plate. I am ready for the renewal of spring, for a new beginning. I am excited about spring AND summer~ riding, spending time with family and friends, being outdoors round the clock, cooking, crafting..... just enjoying life to the fullest.

xo, Ranch Girl


fernvalley01 said...

So sorry about Lorretta , but the fact the previous owner will take her back ,must lighten your heart some. Hugs sweet lady I know you did your best.

baystatebrumby said...

I am really sorry about Loretta. I hope that her new/old owner will be able to do something for her. The thought of an animal in pain is so upsetting, I know how you must feel. I will be sending out good healing thoughts to your mare and hope that she recovers enough to have a happy, silly, beautiful, full and pain-free horse life

Reddunappy said...

Sorry girl, you did all you could for her. I too would make a similar decision, unfortunately economics are a big factor in our choices.
Hug your My Boy and things will get better!!!
Its good that her previous owner will take her back.
Hang in there!!
Congrats on the job!
Your jewelry is beautiful!

juliette said...

I am so sorry about Loretta. I think you are doing the right thing. I am glad her owner will take her back and I will be thinking good thoughts for you and she. It is hard to watch a horse suffer and I hear you with the looking out the window and worrying bit. Also, I completely understand about the financial part - horses are expensive and there are too many variables even if you were millionaire to ever get to the bottom of a problem definitively.

Good luck, stay relaxed and love her up with your good wishes. Maybe you will get a wonderful email or phone call that says she is doing well in her old environment!

Kate said...

Very sad about Loretta - but glad her former owner is willing to step up and take her back. Hope she does better there.

Crystal said...

Too bad about Loretta, but good she is going back to her old owner, I can understand how frustrating it is to not know what is going on and hope she gets better.
Should be fun playing with Howdy and Your Boy and lots of horses out at the ranch.

BrownEyed Cowgirl said...

Sorry to hear you are giving up Loretta.

I guess it's a done deal, Would you please give my email address to her previous owner. I would be more than happy to work with her to see if Loretta's problems can be resolved. Hind-gut issues are difficult, but not impossible to cure. It's all feed related and just takes time and a concentrated effort. It's kind of like a chemistry experiment, but doesn't have to be super expensive.

No offense to you sweetie. I know you do everything you can for your horses. Way more than most would. Even if that means giving Loretta up. If it helps at all...spending that much money on gastric ulcer medicine would not have helped or fixed Loretta if it's hind-gut issues. So you were wise to not spend the $$.

fast_draw45 at live dot com

Hugs to you kiddo...I know this has to be very tough on your tender soul.

Ranch Girl Diaries said...

Thank you everyone, I appreciate your support! BEC, I will send you an email!!

Sares said...

Sorry Shelly Belly. I could tell over Christmas you were really struggling with this and not quite yourself. You have had a lot of changes the last year and a half, I hope this helps simplify things even if it hurts your heart.

Laura said...

So sorry to hear about tried everything within your means - it is so hard to do everything without having lots of time and money - I totally get that. *hugs*

Paint Girl said...

I know how hard this has been for you. We have talked hundreds of times on the phone, emails and texts about Loretta. I know it was a difficult decision for you to make. You treat your animals just like I do, as our children and not everyone does that. I really hope Loretta gets better at her new home so she can reach the potential that we all know she has! Stay strong and you will be in my thoughts during this difficult time! Love ya sis!

Fantastyk Voyager said...

That's too bad about Loretta. I completely understand about the money thing. I'm still looking for a money tree for myself.
It'll be good for you to move on with My Boy.

Chelsi said...

I am so sorry... so so sorry. We all (well 99% of us) have to draw the line at some point and make that tough decision. I was just thinking about it and realized I dont personally know a single "animal" person who hasnt had to make that decision at some point in time. It's just part of the gig...but it really does suck:( *hugs*

Desert Rose said... sorry that it worked out this way for you and Loretta. but she is fortunate that her privious owner will take her and maybe just time will help her health issues work out. Our hearts and our pocket books need to be more in sync at times and unfortunately you had to make a tough decision that many of us would also have to make.
Happy to hear you have a new job and now that its "ranch season" soon you will be so busy you won't know what to do ;)
Love you!

dusty devoe said...

So sorry Sweetie to hear you have to give Loretta back. Feeling the heartache you are going through. I am a believer that things happen for a reason. Keeping you and Loretta in my prayers. Sending hugs your way. Love you.